My Love Of My Sins

My Love For My Negatives Keeps Me Mired In Unhappiness

Durante Alighieri was a great poet and equally great observer of human nature and foibles. Dante, as he is popularly known in the world, had a great passion for philosophy and metaphysics.



His list of seven deadly "Sins", as he calls them, has become a list of "virtues" in today's fashion. Indeed, people vie with each other in indulging in them - it's very much considered the in thing now.



In the middle of my life's journey, "morally passing the point of no return", I find a good similarity between Dante's list of "sins" and my Self-Developer's list of negatives. I discover that modern definitions of this list still hold valid. My modern negatives still take me through Hell to the purgatory, with the "diritta via" pathway to Paradise and "Providential will" not (immediately) in sight.



So here are my seven deadly negatives:

1. (Originally) Saligia, now translated to "aberrant urges". How many times do I find myself yearning for something (or someone) who does not belong to me?





2. Gula, which is now "over-indulgence". Ah, my credit cards, and my non-capability to restrain myself from spending money that is not mine for buying something purely on impulse. And tomorrow be damned!




3. Avaritia, which has become "manipulating somebody's emotions for personal gains." How I enjoy playing with the emotions of my spouse or my sibling or my kid or my parent for that little personal gain!



4. Acedia was Dante's version of "going away from God". For me, Acedia stands for "procrastination". I _know_ I am capable of great things in life, but, yawn, I will do them tomorrow, what the hell.



5. Ira continues to be "anger, bottling up". I might have had to face the taunts of peers for my bad English. Or the object of my desire rejected / humiliated me. Or somebody simply hit my vehicle on the side in a bid to overtake. Or whatever. I either explode then and there, or seethe within.



6. Invidia is now "low self-esteem" for me. Somebody who is doing better than me lowers my image in my own eyes. I find it oh so difficult to get back on my feet again.



7. Superbia takes the crown in all sins: "arrogance" or "vanity". I have done so many things - which now hindsight wisdom tells me were foolish -, and they were all out of either arrogance or vanity.



All these negatives are an outcome of my thought processes. Now if only I become ever-vigilant of what I am thinking and feeling, I will perhaps be able to drink from the river of Eunoe.



Goddess Matelda, where art thou!