Sunday, April 08, 2007

Embracing Change

pic by valerie like, stock.Xchng

Resurrect Your True Spirits - Let Go Of What Is No Longer Relevant

David had chucked off his regular job to run his own business. The initial years were very exciting: the thrill of going after orders from customers, then getting them executed on the shop floor, delivering the product to the customer, and finally getting his payment. He enjoyed the thrill of learning new tricks of business - talking to the bankers for working capital, persuading a bright worker to not quit, ensuring that new orders kept coming in at a fast enough rate during the month, so that he could pay the suppliers and wages on time, and also leave a nifty little profit for him to take home to his wife Paula and the children.

pic by Pierre Amerlynck, stock.Xchng

Somewhere along the line, however, the market changed. The products, that he had become a master in over the years, dropped in demand in the market. Customers' tastes and preferences changed. Initially this change was very subtle, and David came to notice it when the volume of orders began to slink below the usual average. He should really have read the writing on the wall, poor David. He didn't, and kept going after the same type of work. He kept convincing himself that times would change, and the product range he excelled in would pick demand again. He kept looking at the shop floor, and the machines and tools that he had invested so much in. They will hum again, he would think. But that never happened.

One day, all his workers quit. They hadn't been paid wages for two months, you see. Suppliers stopped their shipment. David's bank called for an explanation on the overdue installments against his mortgaged house. David's life was in shambles.

pic by Jelle Boontje, stock.Xchng

Embrace change. Recognize when change is due.

The loss of a loved one - either due to death, or due to separation (child flies the nest, divorce, best friend relocates, etc, etc) - is an event which signals the end of an era in one's life. Like the crumbling of a structure that has outlived its use. Some people get over the event and move on. There are others who don't. They still wallow in the past. They keep trying to clutch at the straws of the past that is no longer there. It is these people who face the maximum agony and take on the maximum pain.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, pic by Ken Ross On Death And Dying - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, author of a profoundly insightful book - "On Death And Dying", proposed a model called "Five Stages of Grief", which are the states of mind that people go through when imminent change stares in their face. Here are the stages:
1. Denial - "It can't be happening. No, it is just an illusion. A nightmare. Everything will be alright when I wake up!"
2. Anger - "How dare you do this to me?! Why me?"
3. Bargaining - "Okay, at least continue to be together till the child is ready to go to college."
4. Depression - "Life is useless - there is no joy in this kind of living."
5. Acceptance - "Okay, let's move on - whatever will be, will be"

These stages do not necessarily come in the same order. Perhaps one or more of these stages may be missing. But the phase of "Acceptance" is the one that one finally needs to achieve.

I wish our schools have, besides the usual subjects of Maths and English and History, about fifteen-twenty minutes set aside for abstract thinking: and develop in us the ability to take a step or two back, and look at the entire canvas of our own life. Develop the ability to know who we are, where we are, who we should be and where we should be going the next moment.

Embracing change should be a joyful process: not one that involves such negative thought patterns as denial, anger, juvenile bargaining, or depression. Possessing the ability to continually look at our life in abstract, makes us understand the structures that we have built around ourselves. And be better prepared for the first sign of any one of them (or all of them?) crumbling. Even proactively strive to break all structures that limit our potential from being realized.

pic by Giovanna Gio, stock.Xchng

Here is one great way to help yourself to overcome all negativities surrounding the change that you may be facing in your particular circumstance. It is a CD, where a voice speaks about self-exploration. It speaks about understanding oneself - and how the impending change will enhance this understanding even further. It is a great buy, especially if - right at this moment -, you find yourself struggling with the thought of having to let go something that you have held so dear to you till now.

Here is the URL: Costs USD 12.95 for a download, USD 25.95 for a CD.

Go ahead. What is no longer relevant - let it whither away. Let go. And Resurrect Your True Spirits - this Easter Sunday.

Bryan Wintersteen, stock.Xchng


  1. Hi... Change is a process that can involve Kubler Ross's five stage grief process. Have a look at my fact sheet on change at . As we reach the final point in the change process, namely acceptance, we attract to ourselves what we truly want in life. Read the free article at to get a good handle on how we can attract what's good for us.

  2. Sorry, the complete link for the change fact sheet is and the link for the free report . Happy reading. Mike